


Misery Loves Company

by CursedObjects



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Adopted Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amputation, Amputee Eren Yeager, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Daddy Issues, Developing Relationship, Emotional Baggage, Ereri Week, Ereri Week 2019, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Sex, Evil step-mothers, German Eren Yeager, Grief/Mourning, Isolation, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Related, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Panic Attacks, Physical Disability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Rated for Levi's Language (Shingeki no Kyojin), Running Away, Service Dogs, Soldier Eren Yeager, Student Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Top Eren Yeager, Triggers, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Work Up For Adoption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2020-11-24 07:51:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedObjects/pseuds/CursedObjects
Summary: Levi is Done with the world around him, sick of being secondary and forever unable to find a place where he feels appreciated as a person.Living alone, avoiding everyone in sight is how Eren has decided to atone for the failures in his life.Somehow they find themselves in each other in a way they hadnt found in anyone before.Discontinued and up for adoption!





	1. Hazards of Glass

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is an older fic I had resting in my folders for far too long. I’ve decided to post it for the Ereri Havens Ereri week. It’s definitely angst filled, so stay tuned for the additional chapters that will follow. This is also the longest single chapter I have ever written.  
PS.  
Where I live the age of consent is 16 years old. For Some people that may be underage, just a mention since Levi is 17 in this and Eren is 22/23.

“Seriously? Levi, again?” 

He huffs, as he visibly exhales in annoyance at the comment. “Yeah, I know. I don’t want to talk about it,” he quipped back with a bite. His legs hurt like hell, and he was an absolute mess, but being here was far better than _there_. “Can I get some money?” he asks Anton as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one up with the lighter that was resting on Anton’s desk before taking a deep inhale.

There was a brief pause before Anton snatches the lighter from his fingers, shoving it deep into his pocket as he scowls at him. “Well at least clean up after yourself first, you look like you’ve gone two rounds with a fucking grizzly.”

Rolling his eyes, he knew he didn’t look great, but he wasn’t that bad. Nothing a few minutes in the bathroom couldn’t fix.

“I only got a small workload to do, so only a few hours at most,” Anton stated.

“Like what?” he asks as he takes a drag from his cheap-ass cigarette. Sometimes he wondered why he even buys this garbage?

“Just cleaning up a few of the lots. Re-sorting the bathrooms and emptying the bins,” Anton offered with a shrug. “Should be enough to keep you occupied.”

“Alright, then. I’ll head out.”

Anton stands up as Levi has his hands on the office door. “Oh, one more thing. Make sure to clean up lot 15 first, I got waste management coming in forty”, Anton recalled.

He nods. “Sure.” Before closing the door behind him.

Working for Anton wasn’t bad, but it could be better. But where else was he going to get work on the side? With his yearly departure to the boarding school the next state over, he was often left without much of leg to support himself on. Besides, at least the money was in cash, something he could easily hide and sneak away from his step-mother before she’d come and steal it from him — the bitch.

His father was pretty much absent in his life, and his mum died five years ago right before he started high school. He was sent to live with his birthfather after her death and now is shoved in the mix of his father’s new family who wants nothing to do with him. At least his sister was tolerable, for the most part.

Anton and his sister were the only two people he talked to while here in Shiganshina. Everyone else was in Trost, too far away to talk to. He was perpetually alone here.

But Anton was decent, providing him with money, even if it is minimum wage.

He helps to sort and clean out the Maria Holiday Park, a place where tourists would stay to visit much of the nearby beauty of the wilderness. It was always full, all year round, but he was only able to help in the middle of summer. 

He goes to the supply room, noting the tiny nailed mirror. He tries to smooth out his hair, tucking his shirt into his pants, before noticing the gaping hole in the side of his shirt where it was torn. Grumbling to himself, he searches for the apron, hoping to use it as a means of hiding the hole in his shirt. Usually, he’d go shirtless, but because of the chemicals, he’d be better keeping it on.

Grabbing the mop, and bucket, he fills it with hot water before adding a small cup of bleach. Then by using the mop, he mixes it all, to make it soapy. Once happy with it he places it on the cleaning cart, along with scrubbers, scrapers and whatever else was already on it. He wheels it out of the building and grabs the cleaning chart before heading off to lot fifteen.

It was mostly hosing the concrete of all the dirt, raking what leaves and twigs had dirtied the place before sweeping it clean. Oddly, compared to most cleaning was something Levi found to be rather relaxing. He was able to focus on his thoughts a lot more easily while also exercising his tense muscles. His friends often gave him shit for it. He didn’t care how girly it was seen. He did it because his mum was perhaps a germaphobe. Once that was done, he was off to the communal bathrooms where he mopped the floor, cleaned and replaced the toilet paper. Once all the soap in the dispensers was replaced and the paper towels refilled, he could finally relax. Once that was done, and he could bleach his hands clean of whatever filth he had obtained.

Scrubbing his hands raw, he was on his way to put everything away before a rundown looking bus caught his eye. It was tacky as hell, looking like it should’ve died in the 60’s. The yellowish crème paint was peeling and many parts rust was coating the shell of the edges of the vehicle. Some parts even looked like they had been hacked at and reattached. It seemed miraculous the damn thing was still holding up. It is clearly unsafe to drive, how that thing has a WOF is beyond him.

“Oh. Well yes, I heard about–” Levi heard Anton discuss with a customer. He pays them no heed as he hauls the cart back into the staff room and then storing it in the supply closet.

“We don’t normally allow pets inside this section of the park.”

“Armin isn’t a pet. I discussed this with you when I made the booking.”

“Eren Yeager, isn’t it? Maybe I have put – oh Levi, have you finished?”

“Yeah, I finished. Can I get my pay now?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

As he was waiting for Anton to sort out the calculations of his payment, Levi side-eyes the customer who was evidently agitated next to him. He was taken aback; the man was a mess. But oddly it suited him. his messy long brown hair was tied up in a bun that looked like it had been haphazardly put it up in a vain attempt to hide the fact that it probably hadn’t been brushed in three days. Despite this, the older man was extremely rigid, with visible defined muscles that were tense. Whether from his growing frustration at Anton ignoring him for Levi or just his general demeanour. He won’t lie; the man was incredibly attractive. That taught tan skin that made his golden-brown hair, and although he couldn’t see the man’s eyes, he imaged they’d be a stunning brown. The guy was bluntly ignoring him; however, the large dog he was holding the lead to was most certainly not. A black German Shepard was staring at him, pressed close to its owner.

That’s odd, Levi thought. Anton hates dogs; he’d never let one in the office.

Levi has to give it to him, this what- Elian guy for bringing his dog right on in here with no regard towards the rules. That’s when he saw the harness the dog was wearing. There, in plain lettering stated: SERVICE DOG. DO NOT PET.

Huh.

He is broken out of his staring contest with the guy's dog when Anton hands him his envelope. Shoving it deep in his jacket pocket he thanks the man before walking out of the office.

At the gate, he stops to pull out another cigarette from his pant pocket, lighting it and taking a deep drag. As he absentmindedly takes an inhale, he sees the older man exit the office before getting inside that hunk of junk of a bus.

**. . . . . .**

After stuffing his money inside the small tin lunchbox, he shoved it under the dead tree at the furthermost corner of his father’s property. It was thankfully incredibly far from the house, making it ideal for stuffing his money inside– just in case. How many times has he run away without his wallet and his step-mother stealing his money? Too many to count. After shoving layers of dirt over the container, he pushes leaves over it, to make it seem more natural and fit into the background of the autumn forest.

Content that it was thoroughly covered, he got up and approached the farmhouse. The large stone and sliding was more of a prison than a home. He hated the place with every fibre of his being. He wished he wasn’t stuck with this goddamn family anymore. Besides his half-sister Mikasa he hated them. But Mikasa was sometimes just as bad as the rest. She would stand by and do nothing, never telling her bitch of a mother to back the fuck off before he would inevitable lash out and then he’d get reprimanded by his father for being rude and disrespectful.

As he steps up the stairs glaring at the wooden door hoping that it and everything connected would vanish along with it. Regretfully, it remained as he threw the door open.

There was nothing but an airy silence. Perhaps he was lucky. Maybe no one was home.

But he was never that lucky because out stepped Eleonore, his stepmother.

“Oh, what the fuck do you want, Eleonore?” he swore under his breath, not hiding the scorn on his face. He dumped his jacket on the coat rack by the door and toed off his shoes as she stood glaring at him with disdain.

“You dare come here with that attitude while covered in filth,” she sniffed the air with that ghoulish nose before scrunching it up in disgust. Waving her hands around as if he took a shit in front of her. “Not to mention, you smell like an ashtray.”

He Ignored her indignant expression and actions, completely disregarded her as he didn’t have time for her bullshit. “Didn’t know it was any of your concern,” he barked out between clenched teeth. Why didn’t she get the fucking picture? She hated him, and he hated her, why couldn’t she just fucking respect that and leave him the hell alone. Rolling his eyes, he attempted to move around her before he is thwarted by her grabbing his shirt tightly with her false nails and shoving her hands deep into his pockets.

He shouts out at the invasion. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he snapped as he shoved Eleonore away. She tumbles over her feet, before falling over onto the cold hardwood floor.

“You were at Trost again weren’t you.” She growled at him, climbing back onto her feet, surprisingly not shouting down the roof. That confirmed that father wasn’t home.

Wait. That meant that– “Oh, so it’s my money you wanted. My father’s money isn’t enough, so you go to his shit son. Didn’t know you wanted the money of _scum_. Pathetic.” He hissed, the word practically spat at her. To rob him of his own hard-earned money, what an utter bitch! A narcissistic arsehole. Thank god he hid his money.

“Where are the cigarettes?” she interrogates as she follows him. Shoving her from his mind, he heads towards his room. He can’t be bothered with her any longer.

“I don’t have anymore. Ran out.”

“Why should I believe you?” she snaps.

“Don’t then,” he fired back at her. Causing her to take a step back before she resumed following him, no care for his personal space. “It’s not like you’re paying for them.”

“I don’t want you smoking in my house,” she retorts, irritating him.

“Because my father’s side hoe with the fucking shitty lopsided boob job is going to tell me what to do,” he jeered at her, enjoying her reaction as her face widens in horror before scrunching in rage. It was an utterly sweet and utterly addictive sight.

“Why you little!” watching the rage in her eyes wave like a torrential storm was cathartic, he felt on top of the world only to be brought right on back with the sound of skin-on-skin and the razor-sharp pang against his cheek. He pulled a hand up to his cheek, feeling that it was suddenly tender.

She had slapped him.

He ground his teeth before, pushing her out of his way, heading towards his room, hearing her follow closely behind him. But if she said anything, he didn’t pay attention. Once he saw his bedroom door, he sped up, throwing the door open before slamming it in her face, locking it. He headed over to his radio turned on One by Metallica and turned it on full blast.

**. . . . . .**

“To be honest, I’m not really interested,” Levi says into the receiver as he searches through the toolbox. “And She is she.”

Once he found the spanner, he begins to tighten the bolt on his dirt bike.

“Pfft. That’s a total lie if I've heard one!” Hange chuckles as her voice swamps the receiver to the point he thinks he should turn his phone off speaker to avoid the ear-rape. “She’s infatuated with you. Do you really not see it?”

He scoffs at her question, focusing on his bike rather than the ramblings of Hange’s romance-obsessed mind.

He was glad when Erwin’s softer voice interrupted Hange’s endless laughing fit, “I don’t think Levi’s that kind of person.”

Affronted, Levi glares at his phone, _not that Erwin could see_. “You calling me oblivious?”

Mockingly, Hange giggles out: “Yes, he definitely is.”

He can practically see her writing all of this down on her _notepad_. Creating some sort of sentence with that chicken scratch, she called handwriting. She had somehow decided that he needed to get a date. Because how dare he remain single?

“It is obvious to everyone except you, Levi.” He hears Erwin state over Hanges booming voice. “I think that makes you fit the definition.”

**. . . . . .**

Of all places, he did not expect to see Eren here. The forest behind his father’s land was restricted, but perhaps the area that Eren had entered didn’t mention that he had just entered private property – not like he was going to tell anyone anyway. Armin, his pure black German Shephard, ran ahead sniffing all that was around him, to the point you’d never have known that Eren used him as a service dog. But then again, he didn’t exactly know what service Armin served. As he watches Eren, he can tell that he walks with a very slight waddle, as his right leg seems to step heavier than his left. Maybe he has a physical disability?

He takes another long inhale of his cigarette, enjoying the moment of relief as he submits to his nicotine addiction. As he takes in a drag, he takes in Eren’s full form. Despite the distance between them, he can clearly see that Eren is indeed a handsome man. With his skin is flawless, and with his tan and hickory brown hair, the falling autumn leaves bring out the best in his body’s features. He knows those viridian-green eyes with specks of liquid gold are hiding behind those incredibly long locks of hair, as he sees him with his hair down rather than it up lately. Not that he’s been staring.

“You know most people don’t appreciate being stared at,” Eren said suddenly. Only then did Levi realise that it was him that Eren was talking to. He had been so focused on absorbing every part of the man in front of him that he had forgotten that he was to stay hidden.

“Most don’t appreciate trespassing.”

A pause. “Touché. Although, I wasn’t aware I was trespassing.”

Levi smirks behind the sleeve of his jersey. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” he puckers his lips for a moment before he made up his mind. “Do you mind having company?”

“No, I don’t mind.”

With that, Levi grabs his dirt bike that was resting against a tree, moving it beside him as he walked with Eren.

He slowly inched closer to Eren as they walked in silence. It was a comfortable silence, neither felt the urge to speak as the two walked in unison. However, Armin was very vigilant of him, the dog was very wary and observant, more so than most dogs he had ever come across.

He could feel Eren’s body heat, it radiated off him like a fire burning. He imaged that lying next to Eren would be heaven in winter. Their limbs twined together as the rain pelts down on the roof above them. The thought was utterly divine. He felt Eren looking at him and Levi’s face burned, no doubt bright red. He begged to any god out there that it wasn’t obvious.

But he just turned back ahead walking in-between the falling leaves of the trees. When he accidentally brushed too close, he should’ve rubbed against his, or what should have been his. He stopped moving entirely as Eren was frozen to the spot. Despite never feeling the sensation before, it was rather apparent that something was wrong.

Eren’s left arm was missing. Completely.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he says hoping to comfort him. It was true, but he’d also be lying if he didn’t want to know. “It’s not really any of my business.”

Armin came up to Eren placing his wet nose against his right hand, seemingly waking him from his trance. He blinks wildly, searching around before grabbing the stump where his arm would have been.

“I used to be a soldier,” Eren mutters out suddenly. His voice barely above a whisper. 

“What division?” he asks, although he regrets asking. Probably some PTSD laying inside Eren’s mind.

“Air force.”

“Wow. You have to be smart to enter that,” Levi added. “From what I heard. Not easy to get in there.”

“Blind luck I suppose,” he mumbles as he rubs the soft spot in-between Armin’s perky ears, as he responds by nuzzling his owner’s hand.

“I assume you’re no longer enlisted,” he asked, his eyebrows drawn in concern before Eren seems to overcome whatever hurdle that was in front of him.

“Medically discharged.” He states as he begins walking again, slowing down as he comes up to Levi and they continue to walk side-by-side.

“That must suck.” And Levi immediately wants to hit himself in the face.

_That must suck. _Suck?_ Levi, you’re such a fucking idiot. Guy loses an arm, and it must _suck_? For fucks sake, what are you? Twelve?_

“I suppose,” he says.

Change the subject, Levi. Change the motherfucking subject.

“You don’t sound local, where are you from?” he questions.

“Köln, Germany,” Eren states, his brief mental disappearance gone from his memory.

Wow. He wasn’t expecting that. “I’m not from here either, I was forced to move here after my mother passed away. My birth father lives here. So, I was shipped here to live with him since there wasn’t anything left for me at home.”

He is overwhelmed with emotions once again. It had been so long since he had mentioned his mother, Kuchel. He felt like shit. He hadn’t said anything to his mother or seen her grave since before he was shoved on the next bus to Montana. “I lost my mum to cancer,” Levi says wistfully. “I was 13 at the time.”

Eren stares at him, and their eyes catch, and for a moment, he felt like someone finally understood him.

“I lost my mutter too.”

**. . . . . .**

He stormed out of the front door, pushing the screen, making it slam against the wall. He could hear the sounds of his father’s footsteps come up behind him as his bag was gripped tightly and pulled back in the man’s rage. He just shoved and pushed the man's arm off of him. This was it. He was beyond done. He was over it, the near-constant tightrope he has to walk with his father’s trophy wife, the fact that he is never believed, that he would hold the opinion of some nobody over his son. He’s never asked for anything, never begged or been ungrateful towards them. Been nothing but respectful but there is only so much bullshit he will spew before he’s just sick of pretending. 

“Get back here right now, Levi!” his father yelled, pointing to the ground in front of him as if it would pressure him to come to him. As if he was Mikasa. As if he was the loved child.

_So that’s what I am to you, is that it?_

“No!” he growled. Surprised at how calm and sure he sounds. Considering the whirlpool of emotions and thoughts raging inside of him. “I’m done with these fucking mind games.”

From his position in the back yard, he looked up and saw Mikasa looking through her window at him. He couldn’t read her expression, but he couldn’t bring her into this. She was the innocent party. It was his father he was angry at, the one who refused to acknowledge his existence except when he vehemently disagreed or fought with his new wife. Mikasa was the only person he could ever understand and truly respect. Which is why he needs to leave, it was far too toxic in that house. He shoves his hand toward his wife’s direction, “I’m over dealing with her lies and manipulation. So that’s it, I’m done.”

Without another look, he storms away, his backpack stuffed full of his clothes and his laptop. He could come back for the rest, but for now, he just needed to get the hell away.

As he stormed away into the forest that surrounded his father’s property, the house faded from view and only then, he allowed himself to express himself in a place that would swallow all evidence of this.

He slumped against one of the evergreens, letting out a loud sob. He hadn’t cried like this in a long time. He never gave himself the time or space to do so, often hiding his emotions behind a veil, shoving everyone away as much as possible to avoid talking about them. He didn’t even let Erwin and Hange inside. He hasn’t said anything to anyone since his mother passed away. She was the only one who seemed actually to care about him and wouldn’t use it against him. He knows that Erwin and Hange wouldn’t do those things, but it felt too hard to disclose just how he felt.

It has been three years since he found his mother, but the pain still lingers. He’s still grieving, but he knows that he needs to accept it and move on. But how can his friends help him? How can they even understand what is going on in his life? Know what this pain feels like? He felt like an asshole. He never told them that his mother passed away. He kept that part secure; he didn’t want anyone to know he was motherless. Didn’t want anyone knowing that he saw his mother die right in front of him. Watched as the life faded from her eyes in that hospital room. No one was there, only his two childhood friends Isabel and Furlan as he wept. Now he doesn’t even have them anymore.

He wipes the snot and tears from his face, grimacing at the gross mess that was all over him. He uses his sleeve to remove all evidence from his face. He can’t face anyone while looking like this. Only then does he realise it has started to rain.

_Just typical._

He didn’t know where to go this but anywhere was better than here. Perhaps if Anton was still at work, he could stay the night at one of the cabins.

He pushes himself up and takes the small trek to the tree where he buried his money-tin and pulled it up, shaking off the dirt. Thankfully, no one had found it. It was rather gross to dig it up as it continued to pour down causing the dirt stuck to his fingers.

He did not know where he was going, but he found that he ended up at Trost, but it was not the office he was positioned outside. But he knocked against the bus’s door.

It was soon followed by the loud, incessant barking of his dog. It did not take long before the man came up to the door.

He could see Eren through the glass door, and his messy cinnamon-brown locks splattered all over his tanned face which made him look oddly adorable. They catch eyes, and Eren pauses before he slides open the bus’s door. Levi hoped he didn’t look like a drowned rat as his clothes were now thoroughly soaked due to the intense downfall.

“Levi? What are you doing here?” Eren asks his eyebrows drawn in confusion. He takes him all in, his appearance and the fact that his eyes no doubt show that he had been crying only moments earlier.

“I ran away,” Levi confessed. “I didn’t have anywhere to go.”

Eren sighs, Armin by his side. He lightly presses Armin out of the way, allowing Levi to enter. “Come on. Get inside its freezing outside.” Eren offers as he gingerly steps inside the RV. He had never been inside it before and didn’t know if he was intruding, because he felt like it.

However, he was surprised to see how it looked on the inside. It was such a contrast to the exterior. While the outside looked like it had been cut up and jig-sawed back together, rust splattered over the shell, like an abstract painting. The inside did not reflect the exterior. It was incredibly cozy if a bit busy. There were multiple rugs on the floor, each looking like some shitty imitation of a Persian rug, with two sizeable swirling lounge chairs with large plump pillows and one was covered in sheepskin blanket that looked like it have been pushed aside, a book resting on the tiny side table next to it.

So Eren had been reading. It was incredibly warm too. 

The design was rustic with a small, vintage-looking cast iron stove that looked like it belonged back in the 1800’s. The kitchen was pokey but looked like it was well used. Pots hung from the ceiling and bookshelves decorated the lounge walls, which were stuffed full of thrift store books. It was only a small portion of what he could see, the rest, probably Eren’s bedroom and the bathroom considering he didn’t have access to the restrooms at this plot – were hidden behind a tie-dyed curtain. Levi stood awkwardly in the middle of the lounge, unsure of where to put his things or where to go.

“I have a single bed available that you can sleep in,” Eren says as he points towards the cockpit. But that’s when he notices the section above it, which is presumably where the bed is. It was covered by a tacky curtain that looked like it had gone yellow from extensive cigarette smoking. But as far as he was aware, Eren didn’t smoke.

Eren brushes past him, walking up to the front of the bus, grabbing something and pulling it down, revealing a ladder that leads up to the bed. “I can’t make the bed for you because well – I think that that is obvious, but I can get you blankets.”

Eren looked at him, still standing there, holding his bag tightly in his hand. “You can put your bag down on the table.” He turned to see Armin grab a cloth that was tied around a handle and Eren grabs some blankets out before Armin closes it as Eren passes the sheets to him.

“Thank you,” he says as he takes the blankets from Eren. He plops the sheets on the bare mattress. He turns to see that Eren has vanished behind the curtain. He haphazardly makes the bed, grabbing the thick wool blanket and realises that Eren forgot a pillow, but he grabs one of the cushions on that was decorated on one of the lounge chairs.

“Oh, you found one,” Eren says as he emerges from behind the curtain. He holds two pieces of wood that he puts into the log burner. He comes up and passes Levi a towel and some clothes. “You should go have a shower, you look incredibly cold, and your clothes are drenched. I’ll put them up here to dry.”

Eren points towards the curtain, and he slowly walks past, feeling incredibly awkward and intrusive since this was Eren’s space and he was just some random kid walking up without any place to go. He sees a little door that he is surprised that Eren can fit through but opens it up to see the pokey bathroom he mentioned. It was so small that the sink was on top of the back of the toilet, and the toilet was casually shoved in the corner with the most uncomfortable looking shower in existence to the side. He puts the towel and clothes down on top of the toilet before turning on the shower.

The warm water was greatly appreciated as it helped soothe his sore and cold body. He knew that water preservation was essential and had the quickest shower of his life despite his body’s desire to remain permanently inside the warmth the shower provided.

He turns off the water and sees his soggy wet clothes were gone and realises that Eren put his bag in here, catching on faster than him that he left all of his clothes out in the central area. Once he puts on a new and dry set of clothes, he feels significantly better.

He opens the door to see that Eren is hanging his clothes upon a makeshift clothesline above the log burner. He is only noticing now how dark it was outside. How long was he out there crying?

“that should be enough to make them dry. I threw your undergarments in the laundry basket. They get washed daily and should be clean for you then.”

“Thank you,” he professed. Eren was much too kind to him. He didn’t deserve it.

Eren nods at him, looking at Armin glancing at Levi with his chocolate eyes. “I should get to bed. It’s getting rather late for me.”

Levi nods and watches as Eren ushers Armin to follow him to the area behind the curtain. Soon the lights turn off as Levi is left in the middle of the central room, the log burner lighting up the room. He hops up on the bed and closes the curtains to the bed.

As he lay there, staring at the old wallpaper that was still plastered over the ceiling. He realises that there is a curtain that he pulls over the bed, hiding him from view. He needed to find somewhere else to stay. He couldn’t just barge into Eren’s place like this. He had enough money to afford to stay somewhere for a month. Easily he could stay in a cabin and feed himself. He didn’t need to be with his stupid father and his self-absorbed wife. He didn’t need them. He was independent. He could manage on his own, no matter what the government said. He was an adult. He needed to go to the store and get more cigarettes as he had no more, and he was desperate for one. There was a café nearby which provided free internet so he could message Erwin and Hange to make them aware of the situation and make sure they know he’s safe.


	2. The Ghost of You Lingers With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carnivals don't have warning labels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was supposed to be written well over a month ago. but in typical me fashion, i'm late. here enjoy some fluff before some more angst.
> 
> In case some of you are unaware an A&P Show is an event that happens throughout my country of New Zealand and is often a farming festival which is what i've based it on despite not setting the story there.
> 
> its a lot shorter than i wanted and im not overall happy with it but i needed to get it out because if i didnt i probably was never going to.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Eren mutters, avoiding his eyes. “Its been a while since I've been out.” 

“Thanks for coming with me,” he says as they walk around those scattered around the showgrounds. “I really wanted to go, but I certainly didn’t want to ask my family.”

Eren nods solemnly, and Levi thinks perhaps he has overstepped himself. He has been spending too much time with Eren. He wanted to thank him for everything but didn’t know how. When he remembers the A&P show was on in a few weeks, he was determined to take him to either spoil him or just enjoy the day together. He felt like he had been overstaying his welcome. Even if it had been only a week at most.

But he liked Eren, physically speaking. The man was gorgeous after he washed the long hair that swirled around his face and the thrift store clothes and not generally looking like he was abandoned in the grunge era of the 90s. No doubt with slim-fitting clothes and his hair tied up and a smile on that face would melt Levi entirely.

Over the week he had gotten to know Eren a little more intimately. Each of his little habits and tics. The way he walked, the awkwardness that would linger as he tried to pour his tea, frustration furrowing his brows with an intense glare in his vermilion green eyes as he focused on pouring grumbling whenever he spilled some. He had once mistakenly asked Eren if he wanted assistance only to get a fiery look that said more than enough.

Eren didn’t like asking for help _or_ receiving it. He was incredibly stubborn.

When Levi had his tea Eren just stared at him, he opened his mouth to say something but just snapped his mouth shut, and they drank their tea and ate breakfast in awkward silence.

But just as he seemed to be closed off and ignoring him, he would ask him questions, trying to appear open and caring. Eren stayed clear of asking him about what had occurred the night before but knew from previous chats that Levi’s relationship with his family was rocky and often unstable.

“I've been where you are,” was the only words Eren spoke to him that morning that accent thick and dense in his grogginess. Those words meant more than anything, he knew that Eren was doing his best, acknowledging the shitstorm happening around him rather than invalidating it like his father did or ignoring it like his sister. In the short time knowing Eren, he had been more supportive than his father had ever been.

They paid the small fee to enter the showgrounds, as they were allowed in, they saw the main board which told when all of the events were on. One stood out to Levi, he turns to Eren with a smug grin “Wanna sign up for tractor racing?”

Eren huffs out a laugh, Armin sitting down next to him looking at the people around them. “I’ve never ridden a tractor, nor how to run one.”

“Neither have I, but you can drive the bus without issue.”

“Fair enough. You're on!”

They go over to the booth where they sign up for the event, paying the moderate fee. Levi sees Eren grab his own wallet and rushes to get the $50 note out before Eren can even open his own. When he slams the bill down rather loudly, Eren rolls his eyes.

Eren looked at him as if he said something idiotic. “I may live in a trailer park, but I can spare $25.”

Levi shakes his head. “It’s not about that. This is to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

Eren’s brow raises in disbelief. “Its nothing to allow you to sleep on that shitty mattress.”

“It means a lot to me.”

Eren goes quiet and doesn’t know how to respond, and Levi thinks he said too much. The event taker takes Levi’s fifty putting it in his register. “Names and age?”

“Uh, Levi. 17”

“Eren. 23”

“Okay, then. Well the event in a few hours, see you then.”

They walk away awkwardly.

‘Damnit, Levi! Why do you always have to mess it up? Dear god, does he know? Does Eren think that Levi was asking him on a date and is just now thinking he just realised it?’ Levi’s thoughts were cut off as a bunch of kids go running past them their faces covered in paint as they rush on by. One pauses at Eren blatantly staring and ogling his prosthetic before running back to her friends.

“Does that happen a lot?” He asks, he feels terrible now. There's probably a reason as to why Eren avoids large groups of people like this. He probably feels like a freakshow. But Eren shakes his head, unfazed.

“Mostly just with kids but it doesn’t really bother me,” he shrugs as they continue onwards.

* * *

After that, they bought a balloon to mess around with Armin as his head turned to the side, his ears flopping as they squeezed the air out of it making it whine. He laughed at Armin’s face, and Erens lips widened significantly since earlier in the morning. He seemed genuinely happy.

Since there were no rides they could go on with Armin, they avoided them before reaching the carnival games. There was a stall with a big fluffy teddy bear that looked like it would be awesome for Armin to snuggle with on his bed and Levi practically pulled Eren with him over to the stall.

“We have to win that bear for Armin.”

Eren huffs out a laugh at his tone, “Armin has plenty of toys.”

“But not that one.”

“Just admit you want it Levi.”

Flushed, Levi stammered out an answer, “I–I’m serious!”

“I know,” Eren says mischievously “Only teasing.” He pulls out a coin and gives the gun to Levi as the clerk tells him how to get the most points. His aim is usually good, but he didn’t get a high enough score. Levi slumped as he wasn’t able to get the teddy bear for Armin, as he wanted something physical to remind Eren of this day since he was so happy.

Eyes narrowing, Eren placed another coin on the counter. “Allow me.”

“Whaa?” Levi whispered surprised, as the gun in his hands was taken out by Eren. He watched how Eren nailed every single shot perfectly. Rounding up enough points to get the bear. The clerk hands the fluffy bear to Levi as he was frozen on the ground in a stupor.

“How? What? Huh?” He questions himself at Eren’s ability.

“Did you forget that I was in the military?” Eren says with a sly grin.

Oh.

_Oh._

Well, now he feels sheepish.

* * *

They stop by the farm animals looking at all the baby sheep, cows and especially the goats as they run around like sugar-rushed children, bouncing all over the show. They were given a small bag of feed to provide the animals, many of the animals were interested by Armin who stood calmly beside Eren, all except for the sheep that would often be too intimidated before running back to their mothers. It was rather cute. They stopped by the food stalls, grabbing some candyfloss to share. They ripped apart pieces as they ate, watching the farmers as they started the wood chopping competition.

They chopped wood so well, their muscles flexing in a way that Levi was surprised he wasn’t sporting a semi by the end of it.

Soon the Tractor race was coming up, and they joined the others. There were about seven others who had signed up alongside them. They all got on tractors that reminded him more of a ride-on lawnmower than anything else. Thankfully there was a large and flat area on one of them where Armin lay as Eren and He along with the others prepared for the race.

“Ready…”

“Set…”

“Go!”

Levi speeds his tractor as fast as it will go which isn’t much as things barely go 30kph but as Levi and Eren race around on the large track the others coming up behind them. The others manoeuvred around them, one yelling out “City Slickers!”

But neither cared.

The race was between them. No with the others. Levi was ahead of Eren, although not by much. The older man was close behind him, right on his tail.

“Looks like I'm gonna win!” Levi says cockily to Eren, who just smiles evilly at him. Eren revved the engine of the tractor and zooms in front of Eren just moments before he hit the finishing line. Making him dead last.

“You were saying?” he chuckles.

“Cheeky brat.”

* * *

Around 6 they were thinking of leaving as it was getting rather dark pretty quickly. They had both agreed to go when they heard it.

“Bang!” it sounded like gunfire, and it took him utterly by surprise. He whipped around to see the remains of a firework blast. Oh.

Oh Shit.

Eren!

He sees the older man crouched low, face pale, fingers digging painfully into his hair as Armin worked him to action.

“Fuck Eren!” “Hey! Eren! It’s me, it is Levi you’re–”

**Bam!**

Another firework goes off, and Eren screams. Shit! Fuck! The fucking fireworks!

“It’s my fault… it is all my fault. I’m so sorry.” Eren whispers out in an agonised voice. Its was like shattered glass was cutting him with every word. Eren’s breathing was erratic and shallow. His eyes unfocused to the world.

**BOOM!**

He desperately needed to get Eren out of here.

He grabs Eren up and holds him bridal style running out of the field. Armin running alongside him without issue. They need to get him as far as possible from the fireworks, preferably the bus, but it was so far for him that it was out of the question. He needed to calm down Eren first.

He ran deep into the forest until the lingering noise of exploding gunpowder was muffled by the trees.

He places Eren gently on the ground. Holds him close but not too close to make him feel claustrophobic.

He was clearly having a panic attack. But he didn’t know what to do. He had never done this before. He had never seen it occur. He knew Armin was a service dog specially meant for this purpose, but all he was doing was nudging Eren, licking him and rubbing his wet nose.

‘Think Levi! Think! Why would he be trained to do this?’ he berated himself for never having thought to check out what to do in case something happened. He was living with someone who had a damn service dog for fuck sake! “This isn’t helping.” He muttered to himself as he pulled at his hair. 

Calm. He needs to calm him down. Eren’s having a panic attack. It means he’s panicked.

Levi moves Eren into his lap, leaning Eren’s head on his lap as Levi played with his hair, hushing all of words that cut deeply into him, words that were clearly from his moments in conflict. Moments of death. Of loss. He held onto Eren’s trembling hand, rubbing circles on the skin doing what his mum would do when he was younger.

“I’m so sorry Armin,” he heard him whisper in utter anguish, followed by wetness.

Slowly his mutterings turned to choked sobs. Then he picked Eren up again and began the journey back to the bus.


	3. Sorry yall

Due to personal issues, ive sadly made the decision to discontinue an put all my fics which are incomplete up for adoption. This a big thing for me since writing has been my main creative outlet and hobby. Ive entered writers block again and again with minor bursts of it but ive decided thst from now on all fics i write are oneshots or very short stories with less than 10 chapters max. Im tired of creating these ideas and speading them to yall, just for me to loose my momentum and then im unable to update for months or years at a time. I love and appreciate every single comment, kudos, virtual hug and appreciation dearly. As i would save it all in a file so when i had my darkests of days they would make me feel better and more positive about myself. Ive learned a lot through writing, starting from those years ago with the citrus scales on ff.net when i was a wee teenager to now, having graduated university and having to decide what i wanna do with my life. Its been a journey that ive enjoyed, loved and im forever thankful. I love you all.

Regarding my stories all of them which are not labelled as completed are up for adoption. These include

Attack on Titan:  
A Titans Poisoned Chalice  
Misery Loves Company  
A Sin Like No Other

Tokyo Ghoul:  
Fraternise

If you want to take over them you just message me and ill get them handed over to you! 

Thank you all so much! Take care in these trying times. (Btw no im not dying or ill just incase you were concerned).

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
Follow my tumblr at Erenfuckinglevi for more information and ereri content! :)


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